a family dinner consisting of an anarcho communist, a marxist leninist, a liberal, and my mum sighing heavily as she just wanted a nice family dinner instead of an argument about the spanish civil war
- nayyirah waheed (via nayyirahwaheed)
More than half of all LGBT related deaths in 2012 were trans women and people on this site are worried about “cisphobia”
i need to reblog this twice
The recent post by Dylan Farrow on her abuse from Woody Allen has become a topic to talk about. I see many posts (thankfully) on my feeds that are in support of Dylan but sadly there are many people who still want to disprove her story, stand up for Woody Allen, and/or brush it off to the side as something we shouldn’t be worrying ourselves with. I do believe that conversations around this topic are important and I wanted to share my thoughts…
"But clearly she is lying. Did you read that article by the dude that studied Woody Allen? He disproves everything!"
- Robert B. Wade did a documentary on Woody Allen and admits himself that he became friends with him. He is not some third-party unbiased actor in this. Throughout the entire article he is sharing cute little stories about Allen and painting a great picture of him for us.
- It fucking disgusts me that early in his “floating scenarios to consider” section he states “But if Mia’s account is true, it means that in the middle of custody and support negotiations, during which Woody needed to be on his best behavior, in a house belonging to his furious ex-girlfriend, and filled with people seething mad at him, Woody, who is a well-known claustrophobic, decided this would be the ideal time and place to take his daughter into an attic and molest her, quickly, before a house full of children and nannies noticed they were both missing." Logic and reason do not always apply! Sexual assault and abuse can and does occur under so many different circumstances that might not seem “logical” to most people. Abusers often think they can and will get away with it. Celebrities often think they can and will get away with anything. If we want to play the logic game, It doesn’t at all seem illogical to me that that a playtime in the attic when no one else is around would be a time when Allen would decide to be abusive, especially if he thought he was going to get away with it. And if she does say something about the assault, oh just blame it on the crazy ex-wife. No one is going to believe a child and a crazy ex-wife.
- Sexual abuse is almost impossible to prove in many cases. Abuse is traumatizing and many people do not know how to process it. Many children don’t even realize they were abused until they think about it later on in life. Stories, retellings, and memories can change; that doesn’t mean they are false.
- Is Mia talking to her daughter about the abuse necessarily a bad thing? I don’t think so. Maybe she was trying to encourage her daughter to talk about it and recount what happened because that was the way she was trying to help her. When children are being pressured to talk, they often don’t like to. Accusing Mia of brainwashing Dylan is accusing Mia of abuse. And here I was thinking that this guy didn’t agree with throwing around allegations of abuse.
- Abusers can be very nice people sometimes. You probably know/have known an abuser and don’t even know it. People coming out and saying good things about Allen’s character does not mean that he can not be an abuser.
I bring up all these points because it pains me to see one article, that is talking about possible scenarios and weak evidence, being used as an end all be all to “proving” that this case is closed. Nothing happened… I do believe that no one will ever know except for those involved. I do not believe that innocent until proven guilty works in abuse cases. I like this line from Shakesville “’He deserves the presumption of innocence’ has absolutely no place in an introduction to a survivor’s story for this simple reason: “He deserves the presumption of innocence” is fundamentally incompatible with ‘She deserves to be believed.’”
Bitch Magazine writes it better than I can…
“Why, even after Farrow has bravely told us in painstaking detail what happened to her, do we still have a cultural propensity to insinuate she is lying to us? Why is it so much easier to believe that Mia Farrow would “brainwash” Dylan into thinking she was abused as part of a custody battle revenge plot than to believe she is yet another survivor of an epidemic of sexual violence?”
"Of course we want to deny the things that happen to children that should never happen to them—should never happen to anyone, no matter their age. It’s absolutely and completely heartbreaking, and we should fight like hell to make sure it never happens. But if it does, and a survivor tells us what happened to them, we need to quit it with the traumatizing apologist denials and learn how to say, “I believe you.”
Because no one will ever know for sure, I am always going to be supportive of the one who feels they have been abused. Statistically speaking, 1 in 5 girls and 1 in 20 boys is a victim of child sexual abuse. I am going to stand with them. I am going to stand with those who speak out about abuse because chances are, they are not lying. To speak out about abuse when you know people are going to call you a liar and when you know people are going to attack your character and scrutinize your life is not something that is easy. I want to make it easier for those who have been abused to speak out. I want them to know that someone believes them and is here to support them. I want to spread the message of believing survivors so that the next person who wants to speak out about their abuse isn’t scared to do so.
In public cases of abuse I feel it is just as important to believe those who are speaking out. I am not someone who is saying boycott all Woody Allen films or that because he is an abuser he doesn’t also have artistic talent. However, I am not going to jump to his defense and I am always going to have the allegations in the back of my mind. If I was told an acquaintance of mine abused someone else I would immediately begin to be more observant, hesitant, wary, precautions, and careful around them. I would probably warn some people to be cautious around them as well. And thats how I feel about celebrities accused of abuse too. We need to create an environment where victims can come out and talk about their abuse and where abusers can be held accountable. I don’t know what that environment looks like in the end but I do know innocent until proven guilty is not the way to get it started. I believe that survivors deserve to be believed.
- Sylvia Plath (via genies)